How do you start again? How do you tell what your life has been like without sounding like a soap opera? Do you need to explain? Or just show up?
Even though I haven’t been blogging for several months, I have been lurking and reading other blogs and exclaiming over the wonderful things I’ve read and thought about coming back and have just been down in a deep dark hole that I was too tired to even think about climbing out of.
Now spring is starting to come back. We’ve had some sunny days and long warm evenings. Grass is getting greener. And I realize that life goes on, whether we participate or not, no matter how sad we feel. And I feel hopeful once again.
My mom died in November. She was sick for several weeks before she died, weeks that involved staying in the hospital with her, bringing her home, taking her back, again and again. Her heart and lungs finally just gave out.
Since then I have just been in a fog. And then I was in a car wreck on icy roads (no injuries, praise God), then several other people close to me or my friends and family have died, then I’ve had recurring bouts of sinus/bronchitis infections, and my husband lost his job. Altogether, life has been bouncing me around like a pin ball. I’ve just been cowering in my corner, slogging through my days and watching out for the next blow.
Today is different though. Even though I am recuperating from yet another sinus/ear infection, my heart and spirit lifted today, when I saw the sunshine. I opened the blinds, puttered around the house, napped when I needed to, and read some uplifting blogs. I talked with a couple of friend who are going through their own personal crises. And I decided to start writing on here again.
I read other blogs and read about the connections that people are making through their blogs. I received a letter from a classmate from high school and feel connections stirring there. And we only connect when we reach out and share.
So here I am again.